已經忘了第一次聽到「Shit happens」是什麼時候了,當時只覺得這個用法非常有趣,尤其走在路上不小心踩到狗屎的時候來句「Shit happens!」還真是格外貼切跟傳神啊!根據Wikipedia上面的解釋,「shit happens」的緣由不祥,1983年才開始在書籍上看到這句話的記載;1988年有個倒楣的傢伙把印有這句話的貼紙貼在車子保險桿吃上官司,罪名是違反善良風俗(之類的)。不過讓這句話發陽光大的應該是「阿甘正傳」裡面的Tom Hanks在不小心踩到狗屎的時候脫口而出讓大家印象深刻吧!

shit_happens.jpg  

不過有趣的是,同時還google到隨著「Shit happens」這句話衍生而出的一些玩意。例如有個網站就列出了世界各大宗教以及學說針對「Shit happens」發展出來的各式各樣理論跟說法,看了真的是狂笑不已。雖然說許多宗教教派跟學術理論對我們有點陌生,看不出笑點的梗在哪,不過有些還是非常淺顯易懂,看了就是讓人噗嗤一笑。

TAOISM:  Shit happens.

CONFUCIANISM:  Confucius say, "Shit happens". (加上「子曰」就夠了!)

ZEN:  (What is the sound of shit happening?)

JESUITISM:  If shit happens and when nobody is watching, is it really shit?

ISLAM:  Shit happens if it is the will of Allah.

COMMUNISM. Equal shit happens to all people. (果然是共產主義的精髓啊!)

CATHOLICISM:  Shit happens because you are bad.

PSYCHOANALYSIS:  Shit happens because of your toilet training.

SCIENTOLOGY:  Shit happens if you're on our shit list.

ZOROASTRIANISM: Bad shit happens, and good shit happens.

UNITARIANISM: Maybe shit happens.  Let's have coffee and donuts.

RIGHT-WING PROTESTANTISM:  Let this shit happen to someone else.

JUDAISM:  Why does shit always happen to US? (這句真的太富有玄機了,原本只是us,卻被惡搞成US,很好笑!)

REFORM JUDAISM:  Got any Kaopectate?

MYSTICISM:  What weird shit!

AGNOSTICISM:  What is this shit?

ATHEISM:  I don't believe this shit!

NIHILISM:  Who needs this shit?

AZTEC:  Cut out this shit!

QUAKER:  Let's not fight over this shit.

FORTEANISM:  No shit??

12-STEP: I am powerless to cut the shit.

VOODOO:  Hey, that shit looks just like you!

NEWAGE:  Visualize shit not happening.

FEMINISM: Men are shit! (Well, 好熟悉喔!)

CHAUVINISM: We may be shit, but you can't live without us......(真是欠揍!)

DEISM:  Shit just happens.

EXISTENTIALISM:  Shit doesn't happen; shit is.

SECULAR HUMANISM:  Shit evolves.

CHRISTIAN SCIENCE:  Shit is in your mind.

BUDDHISM:  Shit happens, but pay no mind. (這就是就地放下嗎?)

SHINTOISM: Shit is everywhere.

HINDUISM:  This shit has happened before.

WICCA:  Mix this shit together and make it happen!

HASIDISM:  Shit never happens the same way twice.

THEOSOPHY:  You don't know half of the shit that happens.

DIANETICS:  Your mother gave you shit before your were born.

SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST:  No shit on Saturdays.

JEHOVAH's WITNESSES:  No shit happens until Armageddon.

MOONIES:  Only happy shit really happens.

HOPI:  Corn fertilizer happens.

BAHA'I: It's all the same shit.

STOICISM:  This shit is good for me.

OBJECTIVISM:  Our shit is good for you.

EST:  If my shit bothers you, that's your fault.

REAGANISM:  Don't move; the shit will trickle down.

FASCISM:  Shit makes the trains run on time.

CARGO CULT:  A barge will come and take all the shit away.

EMACS:  Hold down Control-Meta-Shit.

DISCORDIANISM:  Some funny shit happened to me today.

RASTAFARIANISM:  Let's smoke this shit.

CHARISMATIC: This is not shit and it doesn't smell bad.

MASONIC: Shit happens, but we can't discuss it during Lodge.

RED CROSS: Shit happens - send money. (真現實)

好啦,祝大家都平安,春天來臨,一切行好運,走路不要踩到狗屎喔!

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